Not Very Clever

Fox is old enough(足够地) to go to school. On the first day, his teacher teaches him three words, "I, you, he".Then the teacher says, "I am your teacher. You are my student. He is your classmate. " When school is over, Fox goes home. His mother asks him, "What     

What’s his name?

Mrs Smith is busy today,so she can 1 take Susan to school.When 2 the school, she says,"Your daddy is going to London.I’m going to the airport(机场) to see him 3 this afternoon.I can’t come here to meet you.Can you go home yourself 4 school?""Don’t worry,mum,"says the little girl."I’m seven now."The fifth class is over and Susan leaves school.But she 5 find the way home.She     

你究竟有多独立?

1You're out on a date with your friends. When you decide to run to the restroom,you:a.Beg your best friend to come with you,If he/she no,you start whining.b.Give him/her a look that says,"I must gossip with you in the bathroom.Now."But if he/she doesn't notice,you go away.     

The Sleeping Pills Are for You

Mr Clarke works in a middle school. He 1 maths there. He works hard and is often 2 . He has no children and his wife 3 at home alone. She likes talking but she can＇t talk with 4 when her husband is at school.When he comes back, she talks a lot. Sometimes she 5 him up at midnight and begins to talk to him. It 6 the man not go to sleep for a long time. Mr Clarke 7 it,but he doesn＇t know what to do.     

Commas

It was a Monday morning.As a teacher walked into the ___1___,he heard a low voice(说话声):"here is the teacher.I am___2___this boring fellow(烦人的家伙)is going to talk about putting in commas(逗号).”It was___3___voice.His name was Bill.He was talking__4__the boy next to him.     

美丽人生

Ralph Wiley was born in 1926, on March 20. There wereeight boys and four sisters, yet he says it wasn't a hardlife. His father worked in a sawmill (锯木厂) in the woods.When Ralph was in fifth grade, the teacher told him to gooutside to get a whip(鞭打), because she wanted to whip one ofthe students.     

A Clever Hare

1. Bill Hare is hungry and finds a radish(红萝卜).2. When he picks it up, Mr. Fox is behind him and wants to eat him.“I’m hungry, too. You’re my dinner. I’m go- ing to eat you,”he says.3. Bill Hare is shocked, but he isn’t scared(害怕). He says, “Follow me. I have better food for you.” They come to a well.4. “Look down here,” Bill Hare says, “There is something in the water.” “What’s thatF”Mr. Fox asks surprisingly. “It’s a big and fat hen. Let’s get down to fetch it.…     

An Argument about the Sun

When Confucius(孔夫子)was travelling in the eastern part of thecountry,he came upon two children engaged in a heated argument,so heasked them to tell him what it was all about. “I think,"said one child,“that the sun is near to us at daybreak andfar away at noon.”     

笑话与谜语

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten-dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the higgest lie." "You should he ashamed of yourselves,"said the teacher,"When I was your age, I didn 't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten-dollar to the teacher.     

Go Home Earlier

Teacher: Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, he or she will go home earlier. The next morning, the teacher comes into the classroom. He finds the blackboard daubed. He is very angry. Teacher: Who did it? Please stand up! Bob: It's me. Now I can go home. Good-bye, sir.     

五粒豌豆的故事

The shell burst,and the five peas rolled out into the bright sunshine.There they lay in a child's hand.The little boy said they were fine peas for his pea-shooter.And immediately he put one in and shot it out."Now I am flying out into the wide world," said the pea, "Catch me if you can," and he was gone in a moment."I," said the second, "want to fly straight to the sun." And went away."We will go to sleep wherever we find ourselves," said the two next, "We shall still be rolling onwards," They felt on the floor,and roll about before they go into the pea-shooter;but they were put in it. "We shall go farther than the others," said they."What is to happen will happen," said the last,as he was shot out of the pea-shooter;and as he spoke he flew up against an old board under a window of an old house,and fell into a little crevice.The moss closed round him,and there he lay.     

You May Need Them Later

A man is going to the house of a friend. It is quite far away and so he takes some sandwiches(三明治) along for his lunch. As he goes along,he says to himself,"My friend is sure to give me a very nice meal.He is going to give me good wine (葡萄酒) to drink.So what's the use of these dry sandwiches?"As he says this,he throws them on     

时文选读

ed. forum 1 : Why won't my son go to school? Q. At 8:30 every morning my nine-year-old son says: I don't want to go to school today. There is no obvious reason. I think he would just prefer to stay at home and do as he please. I tell him that he has to go to school, he argues, and we both end up annoyed (2). How can I handle it better?     

Jokes

PresentTom: I really don蒺t know what present I should give my friend.Mary: What is he?Tom: He is a writer who has just begun to learn how to write.Mary: You蒺d better give him a dustbin.Special StrikeShop Assistants: Boss. If you don蒺t give us a wage increase, we will go on a special strike.Boss: What is a special strike?Shop Assistants: When we sell goods to customers, we will not give them short weight.Result of CheatingA teacher asked a student the result of cheating in the exam. …     

Face the Music

When someone says,“Well,I guess I’ll have to go and face the music,”it does not mean he is planning to go to a concert.It is something far less pleasant,like being called in by your boss to explain why you did this and did that, and why you did not do this or that.Sour music, indeed,but it has to be faced.     

Jokes and Humour

Good IntentionsOne day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, Pa wants to know if you like roast pig."I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I     

I Put It There So As Not To Be Sold Out

Time spent in a bookshop can be enjoyable. Ifyou go to a ____shop, no assistant(营业员)will comenear to you and say,"Can I help you?"You____buy anything you don't want. You may try to find out____the book you want is. But if you fail, the assistant will lead(引导)you there and then he will go away. It seems that he is____selling any books at all.     

My Uncle

My uncle is a college teacher.He teaches law.He is very kind and humorous.Every time he comes to my home,he brings me some candies and beautiful gifts.I love to talk with him and his words always make me laugh.He knows a lot and I can also learn a lot from him.I love my uncle very much.I want to become a college teacher like my uncle in the future.     

At the Supermarket

Mrs. Morelli is buying groceries in the supermarket.She is buyingall the groceries in her shopping cart and all the groceries on the check-outcounter.The cheek-out clerk is adding up the prices of the groceries onthe cash register.She is not going to pay him in cash.When he tellsher the total price she is going to write a check.Mr.Gonzalez is also buying groceries,but he is not buying verymuch,so he can use the express lane.The express lane is for customerswith from one to seven items.It is fast, but you can't pay with a check.     

Jokes

A Dirtier HandWhen he was a child, Mike did not always obey the rules of school. One day the teacher caught him breaking a rule and asked him to come up to be punished. In that school beating the palm of hand(手掌心）with a ruler was the punishment. Mike蒺s hands were very dirty, so on the way to the teacher蒺s desk, he wiped one of his hands on his coat.The teacher looked at it for a moment and said,“Mike, if you can find a dirtier hand in the class, I shall not punish you.”“Here it is…